I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
