omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
