i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
