return my video game
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
