she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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