Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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