Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
