He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
