She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
