I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
