she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
