I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I think i got beer on your cat.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
