Im at strip club and am horny
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
