I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
