You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
