Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
