I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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