Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
