I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
