he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just cropdusted the office
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
