How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
