The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Shame is for Republicans.
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