youre lurking in front of me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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