i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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