Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
