I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
