are you so shy because you have an std?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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