You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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