I am puke
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
