If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
