if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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