we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize