Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
