WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
