who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
