Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
