I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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