What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
