Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He did a backflip because drugs
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
