Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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