Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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