Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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