I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
