I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize