yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
