Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
