No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize