I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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