I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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