Your dad touched me again.
I love having hate sex.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
