In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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