Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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