When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
