Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
