You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
