Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
