Will you blow on my dice?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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