I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
