What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Of course I have a pirate flag
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
